Dreams From a Cup

My mind begins to float as I grab my teacup

My heart races as I try to get my courage up

A breath in. A breath out. In. Out. Relax.

A sip. Close the eyes. Sit back.

Him. He’s back. It’s as if he never left.

Again the heart races; I take a sip.

My mind dances in memories as if bereft

Of dreams, fantasies that flutter and whip

Once foolish teenagers figuring out the world

Another sip from my cup as memories unfurl

Regrets begin to rise along with tears of pain

“If only,” I’d think – another sip – and more pain

He married one, I another; we both moved on

I take another sip like the drag of a cigarette

Dreams are false. Memories bygone

But not to him; they are reality dead set

Love, an illusion to me; reality to him

Putting the cup down my mind’s eye sees

Love as I want it, crave it, but a whim

Fear rises again, hopes are false the dreams freeze

I want what he wants but will it come true?

I see the teenagers we were; the adults we are

Both alone, kids grown, on their own they are

Both make do but both want a life brand-new

For me the fear rises; I pick up the cup

I wonder “what if”

He says “I’ll wait”

I drink from the cup and think “How long?”