I was always told I was an idealist. I had visions of things being so perfect in an imperfect world and it was frustrating to me. World peace depressed me. Politics, though I got into the intricacies of it all, left me feeling empty. What got to me the most?
I mean, why couldn’t you have all of the flavors you wanted from Baskin and Robins in one huge tub? They were big enough! Out of all 31 flavors, they had to sell, you’d think they’d want to sell some. Amazing idea, wouldn’t you think? Some were even mixed together anyway. I didn’t see what the big deal was. Ice cream is ice cream. Mixing the flavors only added “more.”
Toss on chocolate. It added just the right touch. I mean, it wasn’t a big deal or anything. And so many think that’s too sweet?
Then there’s this wish – that I could eat all of the ice cream, cake, and everything sinful and not gain an ounce. I mean, everything. Buttercream frosting layered cakes? IN. Tuck in more buttercream in the center and it’s even better. Ice cream with the richest flavors around? Covered. Chocolates? You have my stamp of approval. Cookies, the bigger the better – oh and add milk to that list. You MUST have milk with those cookies to dunk them. One of my favorite combinations in college? Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and, to make myself feel better, washing it all down with Diet Pepsi. It negated the calorie count.
It made total sense at the time so don’t laugh! I was an accounting major and it all balanced out. And here’s another message: Oprah? Screw Weight Watchers and jump right in. You’re only going to gain it all back anyway.
Then comes not just the sweet stuff, I also like the salt to balance it all out. Add in barbeque – anything….ok, except some fish items. Won’t touch them. Then there’s Mom’s Macaroni Salad which for the life of me I cannot figure out how to make! No one in the family can! In essence, my big wish above all wishes? You can eat and drink whatever you want AND NOT GAIN AN OUNCE! Weight loss plans? Pfft! History. So much for the dieting industry. No need for it. We don’t become “obese.” We eat what we want, when we want, how we want it. What a dream! In fact, writing this post is making me very hungry right now. Candy, pies, cookies….then toss on the salt with the chips and salsa, Lay’s potato chips – ok, load on that fat as well. And you have no reason to worry! Right now, I think about this stuff and I gain weight. With my wish? I gain nothing except the dream I can have whatever I wish, however I wish and not gain even the tiniest bit of weight! God, what an amazing thing, isn’t it?
Yeah, you’re right. I’d better grab some of that spinach out of the bin, toss in a few other veggies and make myself a salad for dinner. Now, I’m whimpering….